Halloween candy and a potluck

In Des Moines, they have something called Beggar’s Night. Which is basically trick or treating the night BEFORE Halloween. I have no idea why. But that is what they do here. So last night was the big night for us. My six year old had a bucket full of candy. And we went thru it all to make sure it was safe. The only thing that about brought me to my knees, was the Heath Toffee Bars. My weakness. But I’m proud to say I didn’t have any.

And since I didn’t get any exercise this week as work was just plain crazy, I took her trick or treating last night so I could walk. I had my Fitbit on, and hoofed it around a block. I did part, then my husband took over and did the next block. So I could  hand out candy. Well not candy exactly. I bought packets of peanut butter crackers, and small bags of animal crackers. I knew this would help me stay true to Profile.

So the challenge today is work. Everyone brought in their leftover candy. Which normally I would have eaten like 10-12 mini candy bars by now. Haven’t had a one. And that part isn’t too difficult. But the smells coming from the break room might kill me. We have a potluck today. And every potluck, there is a guy who brings an amazing spiral baked ham. We snack on it all day until the potluck starts. I had a sliver this morning. That’s all. So I feel like that is pretty good. I bypassed cookies and cakes. Bacon wrapped smokies. Bacon wrapped tater tots. I’ve had none of it. I brought some steamed veggies and my little baggie filled with shakes, chews and bars from Profile.

I’ll be ok today. I can tell. I might have a bite of some type of protein. But I’ll be ok. If I can stand strong against a bucket of chocolate, then really, I’m doing good! I wish I could post something so you could just smell the office right now. Like a scratch and sniff post. LOL

How are you handling Halloween?

I did have a coworker mention to me that she was wondering how I was going to be able to handle these things after surgery. I’m not an idiot. I’m preparing myself. Surgery is not going to be an instant fix. It will be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But I want to look at it like this, the Profile Program has really been a training ground for me. It’s already got me taking in less calories and more water. It is already changing my taste buds for what I crave etc. So I’m already doing things now, that I will HAVE to do after surgery. I appreciate her concern. But I was sort of put out like she was assuming I hadn’t thought it through. Dealing with holiday foods, treats, candy, potlucks etc will be the new normal for me. I have to take it day by day. If I have to break it down to just taking it meal by meal, then I will do that too.

I’m doing good. Give me a pat on the back for that. I’m making big changes. Either get on the train or get out of my way.

I’ve read some interesting things about how people lose friends when they lose weight. I get it. I can see it happening with people around me. I won’t be the fat one in the group anymore if I start taking care of myself. Which means someone has to take that role. There are people that may be my friends now, that won’t support the change I plan to make. It’s sad. But it might be true. This is for me. Not for anyone else. If you can’t be in my corner it’s ok. But you won’t stop me.


Feeling determined today

It’s been going good. I wasn’t going to step on the scale today, but I couldn’t help it. I wanted it to tell me ‘you’re doing good girl’. So I stepped on it. 2 more pounds down for a total of like 17. But I’ve lost something like 3% body fat. And my hydration levels are up.

Yesterday there was a lot of free food at work. Late in the day one of the sale managers was talking to me. She apologized for all the food and said ‘I bet you are ready to kill me!’ I answered her truthfully. I said nope. I have to learn to be around food. And I didn’t cheat at all yesterday. I stayed on plan. I appreciate her concern, and loved that she thought about me. But I can’t be angry or resentful for the things other people are eating. It’s not their job to keep food away from me! It’s my job to be responsible for what I put into my body. Does it prove to be challenging at times? Absolutely! But it’s my challenge. She knows I’m doing the Profile plan and have my Sleeve surgery coming up. It was nice to have her voice her regret in having food around me, but I could tell my explanation made her feel better.

Tomorrow is the Halloween potluck. So how will I handle that? I sent an email to the organizer and said I will not be bringing anything as I will only be eating the food that I bring for my own lunch. I will be ok. I will have my shake or soup with plenty of veggies. I will have fun with everyone etc, but I will not stray from my path. I plan to bring some Walden dressing to enjoy as a dip for my raw veggies.

Now my goal is to get exercise in. It’s been another hectic week at work and with different appointments. But I got to get my butt moving!

Anyhow…I feel great. I like that.

Well sometimes the little things trip you up.

I knew yesterday was going to be a challenge. I got a call from my doctor’s office requesting to move my surgery date. Only by two days, but it still was a lot of juggling on my part to get things approved with my boss, my parents who are coming to help, and my hubby’s schedule. So I got stressed. The great thing is that a new friend I met thru Profile helped me thru a good deal of it.

I had to leave my house at an insane hour yesterday to have my car worked on. Which meant I couldn’t bring my frozen veggies with me for lunch. So as I was stressed, and lunch was coming my way, I could just feel the idea of bad food creeping in, because it would be easy. Right then Terri private messaged me thru Facebook to see how I was doing today. I felt like it came at the right time. So instead of ordering Chinese food, I order from a burrito place that delivers. Wait…I ordered as best I could. I did a salad of Romaine, no rice and no beans. I had them put double grilled veggies on it (which may have been cooked with oil) cilantro, black olives, a little sprinkle of cheese, and chipotle salsa. It was wonderful, and about as healthy as I could do.

So I worked thru the stress of the date change for surgery. Then I tackled getting Halloween candy at Sam’s Club. I had my six year old with me, and we decided to get boxes of animal crackers and  some packaged peanut butter and cracker things to hand out. NO CHOCOLATE. We did decide to get a rotisserie chicken for supper. I don’t know how healthy it is but it worked as my daughter loves it. So I de-boned it and had some without skin. I threw a little on some lettuce and made a salad. And I did a big serving of veggies too.

Does anyone know how bad rotisserie chicken is when you are trying to eat healthy? I need to do a little research into that. Anyhow…I got late night munchies too. Just to add to the complicated day I had. So I had a few spoonfuls of my amazing pudding I made for a potluck. I need to get that out of my fridge. But all in all, I dealt with things.

Now today is a one day sale thing here at work, which means they bring in free breakfast, pastries and pizza for the staff. I will have to avoid the break room at all costs. And then of course we just HAVE to have a potluck for Halloween on Friday.

But so far today I’m doing good. I swore I wasn’t getting on the scale until Saturday, but after the pudding last night I had to just check and see this morning. I’m down. Like a pound. I’ll take it.

In between sizes

I have been basically wearing two pairs of jeans during the ‘heavy phase’ I’m currently in. (Working to get out of.) They are both feeling loose. One pair looks like I took a dump in them. The butt is completely baggy. My 3x exercise pants are so baggy that as I was taking my walk around the neighborhood over the weekend, I had to keep pulling them up. Both great things. But I hate when you are in that in between area. Like clothes are loose, but you aren’t quite able to get into the next size under. I can get into them, but if a button popped off people would be injured.

I was going thru the ‘other wardrobe’ I’ve got stashed for when I start to really lose weight. I have a bunch of jeans that I bought on Ebay from Lane Bryant that I never fit into. So they are waiting for me. I have already blogged about the Old Navy dress pants waiting for me in a size 18. I’m tired of my fat clothes. But I don’t want to buy anything new yet until the sizes are smaller.

I don’t like using that word fat but when I am talking about clothes, it seems to work. I have sweaters that I can’t wait to get out. Maybe if I lose enough some of my cute shoes will fit again! Although I have heard your feet never really go back after you have a kid, so that may be a pipe dream.

Since I am no longer rewarding myself with food, I made an appointment to have my hair colored and eyes brows/lip waxed. To feel pretty. I don’t know about anyone else, but when I’m not happy with my weight, I let other things slip as well. Like the grays creeping in my hair. The caterpillar like eyebrows. You know what I am saying, right? I can’t be alone in this!

So once you see your body changing, you start to want to change other things. Evidently changing things around the house was something that came out of the weight changes as my hubby has a to do list that is driving him nuts. But he is trying to work with me.

As everyone else is getting excited for the holidays, I’m getting excited for the surgery! I mean this year the holidays are going to be completely different for me. No Black Friday shopping because I will still be recovering from surgery. I had to promise the doctor on that one. But no Christmas cookies. No egg nog. Oh, crap…I just realized that means no egg nog shakes from McDonalds.  My favorite shake of all time!

Oh well. If I put money aside every time I want an egg nog shake I’ll be able to buy some new boots!

It’s one step at a time. And it’s NOT a setback!

Let’s recap the last two weeks shall we?

I started Profile two weeks ago tomorrow. I posted massive results the first week with a weigh in that showed 13 pounds lost. Yeah me!! So of course I like the scale when it is my friend. I weighed again on Thursday and lost another 2 pounds. Hell yeah!

I have my next counselor appointment today and I weighted in gaining a pound. AND I’M OK.

It’s a marathon, not a sprint. I feel like my body is confused. Not really sure what I’m doing, so I was not expecting more than 2 pounds weight loss for week 2. Gaining a pound, is ok. My body is figuring it all out. So why might I have gained? I followed the plan. Except for a few things yesterday that weren’t ideal.

1) I had a BBQ to go to and I made an amazing banana pudding that is like crack. I had one spoonful. 1 spoon. Not a bowl. Not a huge tupperware container full like last time this was in my house. Just one spoon.

2) I behaved at the BBQ only eating a grilled chicken breast and a few raw veggies from a veggie plate. No dip. So I didn’t have enough vegetables. I knew that. And around 9pm last night I got a hankering for crap food. Like ‘let’s order two pizzas and eat it all tonight’ kinda stuff. Instead, I grilled up an 8oz New York Strip steak I had in the fridge that was going to be for dinner before the BBQ happened. I used some spice on it. I sliced the whole thing in to thin strips. I took about 3-4 ounces and dipped it in a Walden Farms Honey BBQ sauce. My husband made a wrap with the rest of the steak before I could devour it all. That seemed to be enough to get me over the hump. Again, it could have been worse. I shouldn’t have eaten that late for one. For two, the protein was better than the carbs I would have gotten from pizza crust. But I think I did ok.

So positives? Lots of trick or treating events for my daughter that offered up lots of candy. I didn’t have any. My family had fast food after my daughter’s soccer game. I did not. I resisted temptation galore at the BBQ. This morning there are bagels with cream cheese in the break room, and I’m not having any. I made my Profile shake. Since I’ve started I’ve quit soda completely.

Although I did have a dream last night that I was cheating by eating a Heath Bar. I could taste the toffee in my mouth. No evidence of any wrapper near me, or any Heath bar in the house…so pretty sure it was just a nightmare.

The scale is NOT going to define me. So I gained a pound. Fluctuations are a part of the process. I feel great. I got two really good walks in this week, which was insane with work functions etc. I’m ok with where I am. The program will work.

Surgery is in one month. I would like to lose 11 more pounds by then. If I were able to lose 2 pounds a week that is 8 pounds….which is doable.

I must keep going!

Victory is mine!

Last night I had a station event where I was going to be tempted by free chocolate and free wine. I was so worried I wouldn’t be able to stay the course with Profile. BUT I did it. I snuck in a Profile bar, and drank water. I made it through that temptation and it really wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.

Halloween of course is around the corner, and my solution to the candy cravings is to buy things I don’t like. I have a bunch of dum dum suckers and I’ll pick up some microwave popcorn. If I have mini chocolate bars in my house, well…noone is safe.

I wasn’t going to step on the scale until tomorrow, but I couldn’t help myself. I lost 2 more pounds. So now I’ve lost 15 total.

I got this. I have to keep with it. Surgery will be here before you know it. We are ordering new station logo stuff for work and I don’t want to order ANYTHING yet. Because I know I will be smaller. Eventually.

Free clothes

Something at work just made me think of this so I had to write it down. About 15 years ago I was living in St. Louis, working for a radio station. I had a thing I had to do with Dockers. I remember struggling with my weight (as I have all my life) but being about 120 pounds lighter than I am now.

I really wish I had a better idea of what I looked like then, since I remember thinking I was very overweight. Ha!

Anyhow, with this Dockers thing I was to get like $200 in free clothes. I remember being freaked out because their largest size was 18. Which I could squeeze into, but if a button popped off the pants I could kill someone easily. I got the cutest clothes and I think I only got to really wear them once. So I have pairs of Dockers pants, a very beautiful coat (never worn because my bust wouldn’t allow the zipper to budge) and a great skirt/sweater/vest set. All sitting in my closet.

And once when I was a firm 18, I bought a ton of dress pants and blouses from Old Navy on clearance. That are sitting in my closet.

Basically I have a complete wardrobe waiting for me to fit into. It would be like shopping in my own closet for things that I haven’t worn in 11 years. 11 YEARS!! (Some longer)

And obviously I must have hoarding issues to still have thin clothes hidden.