Wedding dress….

If you have ever taken a sleeping pill, then you know there is this gray area before you fall asleep where you almost feel drunk. This was me the other night! Usually I find myself on Facebook or online shopping during this dangerous time. But oddly enough, I got it in my head that I was going to see if my wedding dress fit.

I haven’t worn it in 10 years. But it is a size 18 and that’s where I am. And it fit!! Joy! Happy dance all around the house! But no one was awake to see it.

Last night we went for sushi at my favorite place. I had them make my favorite roll with no rice. (At happy hour there are four pieces in a roll, so perfect for me!) It wasn’t the same with no rice, I’ll admit. I think I’ll have them make it like last time with half the rice so it’s not just straight seaweed wrap.

I have changed my appearance enough that we need to take new station photos. I also started doing afternoons on our classic hits station, in addition to my midday shift on our Hot AC. More challenges rolling my way each week!!imageimage

Hello size 18! Nice to see YOU again!

Yesterday I had my three month checkup at the weight loss clinic. They were amazed at my progress. I thought I was going to get yelled at, as maybe I was behind were they wanted me to be. When I weighed in with them in August I was 315. I went up 10 pounds (I enjoyed everything I knew was going bye bye for me) then joined Profile by Sanford to get ready for surgery.

I was on Profile for 5 weeks and lost 25 pounds before my surgery on November 24. So my ‘official’ weight loss from the clinic is 72 pounds from that August weigh in. But on my charts it is 82 pounds because I gained 10 pounds presurgery and then took it off. I’m counting it.

I’ve cut my blood pressure meds in half.

I lost 9 inches in my waist.

My BMI went down 11 points.

I am fitting into my old wardrobe. The last time I was this size, was before my wedding, as my wedding dress was a size 18. I’m fitting into my 18 jeans. (There is one pair I haven’t worn though because when I button them it pushes a layer of flab up over the top, and looks awful!) All of my plus size tops and sweaters are too big. Today I am wearing a sweater I haven’t worn for at least 8 years, and it is a little too big. My bra straps won’t stay up so I know I am losing in the bust too.

My husband did tell me due to my large bust, I look heavier than I really am. I agree. My workout pants are too big. Even when I readjust the string or tie, they are too loose. But it’s a good problem to have! I’ll take it!

The clinic told me I am ahead of where most of their patients are. They asked what foods make me sick and I told them none. They asked if bread and ice cream make me throw up. I told them I haven’t had ice cream, and the only bread I’ve had is 3/4 of a toasted piece of whole wheat  bread with peanut butter. They asked about rice and pasta. I told them I don’t eat them anymore. They seemed kind of stunned. But this change is for good. I know I can have those things eventually. But I don’t want them. I’ve figured out a way to remove them from my diet and eat better.

I don’t miss pasta. I don’t miss pop. I have my morning latte, which I have figured is 90 calories from the skim milk, sugar free syrup and fat free whip cream. I make it at home so I know what goes into it. I keep track of everything. This is working for me. I can’t wait to see what the next three months will bring.

My only thing I’m behind in is exercise. They didn’t even yell at me since I was sick with influenza then pneumonia. But I got goals, and exercise is a big part of them. I just bought an iPod on Ebay so I can load it up with working out music. NO EXCUSES!

Roadblock

A couple of roadblocks are in my way that I need to get around.

First one is I’ve been sick and fell off the gym wagon. Obviously the dr wanted me to recover first. Now I am having a hard time getting my bootie back into the gym. I’m still really fatigued from the pneumonia, and that is part of it. But I broke the ‘routine’ so it’s hard to make it habit again. And I need to.

Second is that I’ve been getting ‘snacky’ at night. Trying to avoid and overcome this. But the last few days I’ve been going nuts at night, like after 8. I don’t want a protein shake. I want a handful of those damn potato chips sitting on top of the fridge. I’ve made hot tea to try to curb the urge. Last night I resorted to taking my sleeping pill to knock me out before I did major damage.

Finally, I am accepting some new roles at work, and I am excited/nervous about it. In the past that be a reason to eat. And celebrate, which led to going out to eat, etc…you know the drill.

Now the things that I’ve achieved this week. I’ve gotten to wear two pairs of pants that I bought and never wore 6 years ago. I can fit into them!! And I pulled out a shirt that I haven’t worn in 7 years. And it looks good. I actually feel slim! I have found that when I feel slim and attractive again, I have wanted to take better care in my appearance. Lipgloss, curling my hair….those things are back into play. When I felt crappy about myself, I didn’t care.

And my 7 year old is proud of me. She is constantly telling my how my hips and calves look like I’m losing weight. She is wrong about those calves, but I think she is confusing that body part with thighs.

I almost can’t wait to put on a swim suit this year.

I do want to say that since I introduced a little caffeine back into my diet, I’ve become a coffee drinker again. Not to the extent I was by any means! But I see nothing wrong with a small nonfat latte in the morning. I’ve limited it to that. Not the quad shot latte I used to make every day. And I know if I allow that, then I have to get more water in every day to offset the effects.

I’m getting so much support from people around me, blogs, and messageboards. It really is great motivation to keep on track. I walked down the hall today and a woman I work with about fell out of her chair when she saw me in my slimming shirt today. She said ‘Oh my god you look amazing!’ I like that feeling.

Moving down a size in jeans

I weighed myself this morning, and I am half a pound away from being -80 pounds. Woot Woot!! I have had lots of comments about my jeans being too big and baggy, so this morning I pulled out some Lane Bryant Seven jeans. I bought 3 pairs of new size 18  Seven jeans off of Ebay about 6 years ago. They had the tags on them still. And they were too tight when they arrived. For fun I tried on a pair today….AND THEY FIT. Holy crap! I can wear them!! So I pulled out a sweater (it’s Iowa and cold) and it’s too baggy, but I’m still wearing it.

I’m doing the happy dance.

A lot.

And a coworker just came back from maternity leave today and made a comment about how great I am looking. Which made me feel amazing.

I did get a little snacky last night. I think that time of the month is coming and that means I start putting all kinds of crap in my mouth. So I tried to resist and just have 1/2 a cup of cottage cheese. Slow and steady.

Last week my boss gave me a box of truffles for Valentines Day. I ate one and stuck the rest in the freezer. I can have one every month. Should last me for the next year. Slow and steady.

Instead of wine or chocolate for Valentines, my husband and daughter cleaned my house. Best gift EVER!!

The dr cleared me to start exercising again. So I’m bringing that back! I will pass that -80 pound mark this week. You betcha!

Lab results are in!!

I got a call from the Weight Loss clinic to go over my lab results. Every thing looks great, except I’m a little too low in protein. I’m at a level 6, and they want you between 6.5-8. Which I can add back in my protein shake and get there easily. We had lowered my protein due to the issues I was having with bowel movements.

My vitamin D level has gotten back where it needed to be. I was really low when they released me from the hospital, so they had me on prescription dose vitamin D for about 2 months. Now I will switch to just an over the counter vitamin D to maintain my level.

So I’m happy! I’ve cut my blood pressure medication in half, and feel great now! In a few months I will go to my regular dr to have thyroid levels checked to see if we need to lower my medication there too.

It’s a good day! 🙂

Relationships

I was on one of the Bariatric support group websites, and someone had a thread up about relationships. They asked if the weight loss change caused friction in their marriage, or jealousy. And this got me thinking about a relationship that I am having trouble with at my three month mark. It isn’t with my husband though. He has been amazingly supportive. He tells me how proud he is of me, and the changes he sees. My family has been amazing through this journey.

But the relationship that took a hit was one with a friend. A friend who has gone through lap band! We have been friends for years, but I haven’t seen her since my surgery 11/24. She never reached out to ask how I’ve been etc. Occasionally we chat on Facebook, but she makes excuses as to why we can’t get together. She flat out told me she ‘didn’t want to be the fat friend’. It feels like we can’t be friends if I am finally doing well and getting healthy. This is a red flag to me. It feels very one sided. So I’ve distanced myself a little. No, a lot.

I need to surround myself with positive and supportive people. My coworkers have been amazing! I am just disappointed that someone I counted as a close friend, is too jealous to be supportive.

Have you had relationships effected?

I just did my 3 month blood work

Over the weekend I had a work function that my family went to. I had a ton of coworkers spouses comment on how good I looked. Which of course was a warm fuzzy I needed! My tops are getting too big. I have to keep pulling them up so I’m not flashing everyone.

This morning I went in and had my 3 month blood work done. I will get the results at my Weight Loss appt on Feb. 24th. Then I went next door and got a chest x ray to see if all the pneumonia is gone, so I can work out. I am feeling better, but would really like to get back into my gym groove.

I’m still only at 600-800 calories. I just can’t get anymore in! I have no hunger at all, and really forcing myself to eat. My nutritionist said its ok. To go at my own pace. That’s what I’m trying to do. We have lowered my protein a little because of the issues I was having with going to the bathroom. So I aim for 60grams of protein a day.

I am really seeing things change when I look in the mirror, or when I try on a shirt that used to be tight. Now things are loose and baggy. I like it. A lot!