Getting out of your head

Any way you slice it, yesterday drained me. By the end of everything I just wanted to crawl in bed. But I made myself do my shirt run/jog/walk thing. I moved up to run 2.5/walk 2 x 4. I cleared my head. I absorbed the music. Oddly enough two songs on my playlist really had me grinning.

The first was Splendor ‘Whatever Makes You Happy’. Lyrically, it just recharges me.

Yeah, whatever makes you happy
Yeah, whatever makes it beautiful
Yeah, whatever leaves you satisfied
‘Cause I’m out of time
For now

For a moment I thought ‘I want those words tattooed on me’. Or maybe just the word WHATEVER. It sounds sarcastic, but really it’s just permission for you to do WHATEVER you need to do. WHATEVER makes you happy, beautiful or satisfied.

The next song that really helped me blow steam is by Marvelous 3. Now the lead singer is Butch Walker, who had written amazing songs for Avril Lavigne, Pink! And Train. The song is SugarBuzz and it is very sarcastic and snotty. Just a song full of attitude.

You can stick that sign up your ass
The one that says it won’t last
My sugar buzz is growin’ higher and higher everyday
Your sarcasm cuts like a knife
I’ll have the time of my life
My sugar buzz is growin’ higher and higher everyday

Music really help you release those emotions.

Oddly enough I managed to get up and run this morning too. And then I have a very long day, followed by a Women’s Heart event I agreed to MC.




…and it all goes South?

I blogged this morning but after this day I feel I need to vent.

Husband lasted an hour at work and home sick again.

My day at work went off the rails and I bit my tongue until I couldn’t restrain myself any longer. I am the one how questions why things are done a certain way etc. I have also learned that I am my best advocate. So at times I may throw out a ‘why am I get screwed over’ or ‘wait a minute dude, that’s not fair’ out during a meeting. That happened twice today.

Questions still have been answered on that front.

An issue at work created a bigger computer issue, which meant three of us had to do a fix that took each of us 90 minutes. Cue headache. And Sass.

With all of this, it is NOT the ideal day for me to mix with listeners, clients or people in general. But this be (of course) the day for our massive station listener event. I’ll need to grin and just try to get thru.

All I can think of is putting on my headphones and going for a run. For me.

I put together a weekly playlist on Spotify that I look forward to enjoying. Check it out HERE

Life throws curve balls


Yesterday I ran in the morning and had a session with my trainer in the afternoon. We worked legs and I was jelly walking out of there. Javier really pushed me hard, and that’s the core of why I’m paying a personal trainer. I can’t do this alone. He has the skill set to know what exercises are going to work, but also the personality to motivate me. He knows my story and I think he gets how hard the struggle is sometimes. Who ever would have thought I would look forward to my workouts?

My husband went home sick from work yesterday, so the plan was for me to pick up our daughter at the after school program on my way home from training. She has had something like a zit inside her nose for a few days that has been hurting. When I picked her up her nose had swollen so much I freaked out. She said the pain was awful and there was an angry red streak on the outside of her nostril. I wasn’t sure it was Urgent Care worthy but the change since I dropped her off at school was so great I decided to bite the bullet and go.

The dr told me I made a good call as it would only have gotten worse and it was too close to the brain to mess around with. She had an infection that was spreading so we got her on strong antibotics right away. We had to watch for fever, spreading and growth now. Any signs of change like that meant ER.

Once we got home it was 7, so I got her fed and ready for bed. She asked me not to go running since Brent was knocked out on NyQuil and she was scared things might get worse. So I stayed home. I had planned to get up early and do it this morning, but of course the entire house overslept. (Life throws ya curveballs!)

So today is a big work event which will mean any exercise will have to wait til tonight now. But I’ll get it done. Tomorrow is another event I’m going to MC which will be a late night. I just have to juggle things for a few days and find a way for me to get the time I need.


Two years later…

I fell. In a ditch. And it took me a while to get up. But I am.

So after losing a bunch of weight, it’s fairly easy to start taking things for granted. I can eat this____ and it won’t effect me. Or I don’t really need to exercise. And you start forgetting to put yourself first. It’s just so easy to do.

I had thoughts of despair as I started to see the weight come back on. 60 pounds of regain. And the hard truth is that I don’t want to live like this. In my defense it wasn’t all food related. I had a back injury ( from cleaning my closet of all stupid things) that forced me into trying chiropractic and acupuncture to try to fix it. After 3 weeks of not getting better I finally got sent to physical therapy. Which took about two months to get me up and running.

Then I got invited on a trip to London. I think that was the spark I needed to get my mind in the right place. Not only do I want to be in a ton of pictures on my trip, but I want to be able to do a lot of walking without holding my cohorts back!

So I did something I didn’t think I would do….I hired a personal trainer. Yeah it costs some money. More than I expected.  And I never would have done it if I hadn’t met the right person. But I met a trainer who not only understood where I have been, but also where I currently am. And where I want to go.

My journey is just that…my journey. I can’t compare myself to anyone else. My body is different and unique to me. I am not angry at regaining weight. I can’t live in ‘what happened’ or ‘what might have been.’  I can move forward. I can learn from the past.

I found a picture or saying on Facebook that I’ve adopted as a new motto.

Re-set, re-adjust, re-start, re-focus….as many times as you need to.

I did the hardest thing I’ve ever done!

It’s been a very long time since I’ve blogged. But I did an event called Titan Mob.

Hardest thing I’ve ever done. Simply put. I still can’t believe I did it.

Saturday was the Titan Mob that I signed up for on a whim. I kept telling myself I have plenty of time to train. It’s end of August. I got this. I ended up going in pretty much not ready at all for the challenge. I really thought maybe I would back out. But then Julie, the owner of Orange Theory Fitness signed up to do it with me. I couldn’t let her down. So I showed up on Saturday.

I will be brutally honest and say I don’t know if I would have finished if Julie hadn’t been by my side pushing me every step of the way. There were obstacles that I didn’t even attempt. I did not want to injure myself. I saw Jamie, the organizer of Titan Mob right when I arrived, and she told me that the course was very slick. She told me I would need to be patient and not get frustrated. I didn’t know what this meant until I was on the course.

titan2  titan3 titan4 titan5 titan6 titan7

These are pictures my husband took of me at the first set of obstacles. We had to go thru 3 muddy slopes into water, climb out and move on. I wasn’t able to jog like I wanted, as the obstacles really winded me. I know Julie stayed by my side, when she really could have moved on ahead of me. There were some obstacles I just didn’t do. Some very high walls were avoided, and a really steep muddy hill where you climbed up on a rope. I think this one was closed later as it got really difficult to manage.  I also avoided the rock climbing walls and took the penalty of burpees instead.

But I flipped a tire. I climbed thru sewage drains (they were clean) and muddy tunnels. I crossed creek beds in water that was chest high and freezing. I attempted the monkey bars. I did fall, but hey, I tried. I climbed up a small hill using a rope, and actually got myself up top with no help.

A surprise to me, was the camaraderie among participants. Someone would pass you on the running path and say ‘you are doing great, keep it up’, or look back and ask if you needed help getting out of a creak bed. I was trying to get out of the creek and up onto a muddy bank, that was waist high. A guy came up behind me and offered to help me out. It was such a great feeling! Nobody looked at you like ‘there is no way you can do this.’ Exactly the opposite. You got credit for being there. For being muddy. And trying.


This was a picture of Julie and I as we finished the race. We were covered in mud, but the last obstacle is a giant slide, than dumped you in a pool of water. So we came out fairly clean. It took me just under 2 hours to complete this Titan Mob. But for me, it wasn’t about the time. It was about finishing it.

Afterwards at the car, I peeled off my muddy clothes and wrapped up in a towel. As I was in the car, I slowly could feel my body start to ache. I went home and popped some Tylenol and rested. And then my family surprised me with this.


It’s my bib and medal from the race. We will add a photo of me and put it up on the wall. When I got home I crawled in the shower and broke down in tears. A year ago I couldn’t have done this. I don’t think 4 months ago I could have done this. But I was so proud of myself for challenging myself and actually doing it. My family was very proud of me.

A few on my listeners were there encouraging me as well. Misty Kohrs, Brent Hommer and his wife, and Julie from Orange Theory Fitness. I couldn’t have done it without all the support.

Today I’m wearing my Titan Mob tshirt and telling everyone who will listen that ‘I Did This!’

Sunday I was very sore, but I knew I needed to get moving in some way to loosen up my muscles. So my daughter and I went to Raccoon River for a bike ride. A year ago I couldn’t have ridden a bike. But I did yesterday! I did the whole 3.2 miles.

Today is my 9 month checkup post surgery. And although the scale hasn’t moved since May, I am not letting that define my success. I wanted to be active, and I am. I am exercising 2-3 times a week at Orange Theory Fitness. (And loving it!!) And I’m walking and biking. I am seeing new changes in me everyday. And I’m not close to being done.


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I’m back!!

Seems like I’ve been MIA for awhile. Maybe you didn’t notice. Maybe you did. Regardless, I need to blog for me.

I was at a big ol plateau where the weight wasn’t moving anymore. I’m about eight months post surgery and down roughly 100. Maybe a tad more. I’m proud of that. But I see some ugly habits that need to be addressed. Snacking. It is what got me big, and will derail me if I don’t address it NOW.

I started with the late night snacking. Mindless stuffing of cookies and chips into my mouth. And it needs to stop. There are no excuses for the backslide. I need to pick myself up and dust myself off.

So I landed an endorsement deal with a place called Orange Theory. It is a chain, so there might be one near you. Google it to get an idea if you are interested. It is group fitness, with a trainer that makes you feel like you really are getting personalized attention. I’ve done two sessions and I know this is going to help me. Let’s face it, any moving of the body is a good thing! You wear a heart monitor and it you get an idea at the end of the workout how many calories you burned. You get your heart going to such a degree you continue to burn even after the workout. It’ not just cardio. It’s strength training as well.

I love it.

I can feel it today as I did the class last night. But it’s a good feeling.

I am also about a month out from Titan Mob! So excited by this! It is a 5K with an obstacle course. I’m scared, but I’m doing it anyway. This summer is all about breaking out of my comfort zone.

Two weeks ago I wore a swimsuit in public. Can you believe it?? I can’t! I had to go thru all my swimsuits and they were all TOO BIG! Great feeling. I wore a skirt to work this week. Everyone, including my husband, was in shock. That’s just not me!

But this is the new me. So watch out world!

I hit my 100 pounds gone mark!!!

I just knew when I woke up this morning that I made it. I hit it. -100 pounds since my decision to have surgery. I lost 25 leading up to my surgery, and now 75 pounds since my surgery, just over 6 months ago.

And I’ve said over and over that it isn’t about a number. I feel great and have the energy to work out. But for some reason the 100 mark felt like a landmark number. I am wearing pants that another surgery patient handed down to me that are Rue 21 brand, size large. I never would have attempted these before. I actually feel ok in shorts. And never in my life have I worn capris!! Until now. I had an insecure moment this morning so I threw on an oversized shirt to cover my butt. And everyone is telling me it is too big and not flattering.

But see for yourself.

I see big changes in my neckline. That is where I feel skinny. At an event last night I had a ton of listeners come up and tell me I looked great. Which made me feel great!

I have my workout gear with me ready to walk this afternoon. And a 5K on Saturday that has me freaking out as I’m not ready. But I’m doing it. ml2 ml1